The Fetus Body

I can't overemphasize how much of a fego I become when talking about and researching the male physique. In the past 4 months that I've been graduated and unemployed I've legitimately googled "shaq with no shirt", "Corey Maggette Abs + hot tub", "Riggins arms", and "physical specimen." Am I proud of myself for desiring such objective celebrity fodder? No, but I'm really not ashamed either. It's not like I'm drooling over the same blue-eyed Aryan dudes that teens glue into their health class collages. I'm marveling at the robo like precision that comes with a man who has batman's armor for a stomach. I don't see the male body as an object of affection or sexual lust but rather as a tool or a weapon that has been crafted from some metallurgic mixing pot and covered in a guise of flesh. I find myself loving men for their bodies. I am genuinely interested in Andre Johnson because of his protruding bicep veins in the Madden 06 picture that flashes between the start screen and rushing attack play. I crave the ESPN article where Corey Maggette unveils his chiseled upper body while reclining in a spa. I watch the first day of the combine in hopes of seeing Calvin Johnson emerge from the isobaric chamber with nary a thread on. (SPOILER ALERT) This is why I'm really pissed off about the first episode of Entourage from season 5. After the flop of Mediin Vince has relegated himself to a simplistic life in Mexico fucking the shit out of super models and parading around on his jet ski. Pretty much par for the course for Vinny Vincent Chase. What really rubs me the wrong way is how much of a fetus body Vince has when he's hooking up with two voluptuous brunettes in the opening scenes of the new season. How can the man navigate two A+ hotrods built for speed when he's not even in good enough shape to drive for Joe Gibbs racing. His sludge rivals the Reptile fetus body from B-break 06 with a few more bushes and much less hisssss. If Vince really wants to bring entourage back to it's season 2 heyday then the man needs to take a lesson from the Will Smith school of hardknocks and get his pudgy ass on a stairmaster.

edit:forward all pix of shaq without a shirt on to chipperzap@yahoo.com