Teurlings Catholic High School: Delhomme makes the All-State team as a DB

Delhomme attends the University of Southwestern Louisiana

Throw Momma from the Train

Editors Note: Contininuing our guest section of 32 for 32 on Fegonomics is new contributor Peaceful Mountain. Give him a break, he's Asian.


Disclaimer: This post is based entirely on conjecture and should be read and interpreted as such and nothing else.

Drew Brees’ mother, Mina Brees, died in an apparent suicide on August 7, 2009 a month before Brees’ ninth NFL season was about to begin.  Prior to her death she had been under investigation for extortion for sending letters to some restaurants claiming that their rights to their names had been bought by another company, Chicksports, and that if they wanted the naming rights back they would need to send her $25,000.  These letters of coursed failed to mention that Brees herself was the owner of Chicksports.


In 2006 Mina Brees came under fire from Brees himself, when she decided to use images of him as a Charger in campaign ads that she was running in a race for a spot in the Texas appeals court.  Brees had asked that his image not be used, and it was only when his lawyer threatened legal action that Mina Brees acquiesced to his demands.  At the time Brees described his relationship with his mother as “nonexistent”.  The riff supposedly began in 2001, when Brees refused to hire his mother as his agent before the NFL draft. 


One can only begin to imagine what kind of psychological damage his relationship with his mother has caused him over the years.  And judging from the string of strange, bizarre and frankly crazy shit that has happened between them over the last 9 years, it is highly unlikely that Brees ever had anything close to what one would describe as a “normal” relationship with his mother. 

With that being said perhaps Brees’ resilience came in part from his lack of motherly nurturing.  As any young child knows, there are few places more comforting than at your mother’s side.  This is something that has been hard wired into each of us as it is a key to our survival as a species.  To have this bond taken away can be immensely damaging, and in Brees’ case, it seems apparent that this relationship has been irrevocably broken for some time now.


So to have the career that Brees has had in spite of all the doubts, injuries, and slaps in the face that he has had to endure is quite remarkable.  Here’s a quick hit list of what he has faced:


1979 – Born with a huge hairy mole on his face that has been described as a “small woolly-bear caterpillar”, his parents decide to leave it on there.
1996 – Leads Westlake High to a state title in Texas but is not recruited by a single Division I college in Texas.
2001 – Finishes third in Heisman voting, named Big Ten Offensive MVP, receives Maxwell Award as the nation’s most outstanding player, and still does not get drafted in the first round.
2003 – Gets benched in favor of a 42 year old Doug Flutie.

2004 – Chargers draft Eli Manning, then trade for Philip Rivers.  Clearly signaling they no longer believe Brees has a future in San Diego. 
2005 – On the eve of becoming a free agent, and posting a career high in passing yards, Brees gets injured in his last game of the season against the Denver Broncos on a cheap hit by John Lynch. 
2006 - The Chargers, wary of his shoulder, send him a low ball offer telling him essentially to leave.  Then to add insult to injury the Miami Dolphins choose Daunte Culpepper, fresh off a ride on a sex boat, to be their starting QB over him.

By the time Brees signed with the New Orleans Saints in the spring of 2006, no one was quite sure where he or that team was headed.  New Orleans was still in shock from Hurricane Katrina, and the Saints did not play a single game of the 2005 season at the Superdome, as it had become a makeshift refugee camp. 

The team itself was in shambles, they underachieved in 2003 and 2004, and finished the 2005 season 3-13.  Their starting quarterback, Aaron Brooks, had literally devolved over the course of 5 seasons, and had with each game found seemingly unconscionable ways to turn the ball over (Fegonomics staff edit:.If anyone has video evidence of the Brooks backwards pass please post link in comments section ASAP).  Jim Haslett, their coach for the last 6 seasons was fired and the Saints were in full rebuilding mode.  Typical Saints.


But with the signing of Brees, things seemed to turn around.  Reggie Bush (then considered a sure thing) miraculously slipped to them at the #2 spot in the draft.  Then in what was a surprise to most, the Saints announced that they will play all 8 games at home in the Superdome for the upcoming season.  All of a sudden the Saints were not only relevant, but considered exciting again. 

"I wanna kiss you" 

4 seasons, 3 Pro Bowls, 18,298 yards passing, and a 122 TD to 57 INT ratio later it has become apparent that the quarterback and the city that were both left for dead have come back with a vengeance.  Brees hasestablished himself as one of the premier quarterbacks in the league and has put himself in the conversationwith Mssr. Brady and Manning as a perennial MVP candidate.

After winning their first thirteen games this season the Saints ended the season on a three game losing streak.  Since embarrassing a shell of a Patriots team in Week 12, the team has looked vulnerable and critics have questioned whether this is a team that should be considered a true contender.  Brees has been spotty at best in his last two starts, throwing only 1 TD.  The Saints vaunted offense has been anemic as they were held below 20 points in each of the last three games, their lowest three point totals of the season.  The doubt has begun to creep in.  How will Brees respond this time?

Intermission

Gentleman,

This man has scored 158 touchdowns. Now, he reveals the secrets behind it all.

Lord Byron

Editor's Note:
The following is another guest spot for our 32 for 32 feature. This post is by our own Mr. "Real Life of Alex Mack" Liquid Dinho.


O Byron, Lord Byron






Byron Leftwich was born on January 14th 1980 in Washington DC. Lord Byron was born on January 22nd 1788 in London. Byron Leftwich is a professional football quarterback. Lord Byron was an English Romantic poet. A google search for Byron Leftwich returns 204,000 hits. A google search for Lord Byron returns 3,600,000 hits. Byron Leftwich has a baby face and looks like Gary Coleman. Lord Byron is a true baller and doesn’t give a fuck who he looks like cause other people look like him not the other way around.

So what are the similarities? One, they both have the same first name. Two, straight players. That’s right both Byron’s are straight players. Lord Byron tapped everything that came his way. His conquests include the wife the Prime Minister of England, Mary Shelley’s sister and other English nobility. But don’t fret, Lord Byron doesn’t discriminate based on sex or family relations. He poked his cousin, half-sister, men, boys… Like I said, Lord Byron doesn’t give a fuck. Byron Leftwich on the other hand, well, he probably Mike Leached some sorority chica. (To Mike Leach is to undertake any action in a locked equipment room.) So maybe Baby Face can’t compete with the Lord in the game of Games, but Baby Face’s got the edge on the Gridiron.

The usual reaction that even a serious football fan has when the name Byron Leftwich is mentioned is of a fat, slow QB, with a big arm who never panned out in the NFL. In other words a bust. However these conclusions are somewhat unfair. To see why let’s review Leftwich’s career starting with his days at Marshall.

Not heavily recruited coming out of high school, Leftwich decides to attend the MAC powerhouse Marshall, whose potent passing game had been established by Chad Pennington and Randy Moss. Byron’s big frame 6’5 250, and big arm lit up the MAC with impressive passing numbers. Over three years he passed for 11,903 yards with 89 touchdowns and 28 interceptions.
His college career is highlighted by Marshalls 64-61 victory over ECU in the 2001 GMAC Bowl, in which he faced future teammate David Garrard. Leftwich threw for 576 yards and 4 TDs as Marshall rallied from a 38-8 deficit at half time to win in double OT. Check out some of the highlights from this game, its ridiculous. Check out the looks of the coaches at 13:22,14:15 and at 17:19. Priceless.

Leftwich also gained national fame for being carried downfield by his offensive linemen after completing a long pass with a broken shin. Check it out:



An accurate QB, with a cannon for an arm and leadership abilities is pretty enticing to NFL general managers. In one of the strangest draft day episodes in which the Vikings missed their pick, the Jaguars jumped at the opportunity for a franchise QB and drafted Byron 7th overall in the 2003 draft. The situation looked great for a young QB to mature. The Jags had a veteran starter in Mark Brunell, A solid defense and talented skill players such as Fred Taylor and Jimmy Smith. However the Jags’ plans hit a snag four weeks into Byron’s rookie year when Brunell went down with an injury, and Leftwich was thrust into the starting role.

Over the next 4 seasons Leftwich started 44 games before having season ending ankle surgery after week 5 in 2005 and week 11 in 2006. Leftwich lead the Jaguars to a 24-20 record during this span with 51 TDs and 36 INTs. Hardly bad numbers for the young QB, especially when you consider that this period also contained the retirement of Jimmy Smith, the leaving of Fred Taylor and was prior to the arrival of MJD.

The problem for Leftwich is that David Garrard came in and went 13-6 as a starter when Byron was injured and then proceeded to win the starting job over Leftwich during the 2007 preseason. Leftwich was released by Jacksonville and spent the 2007 season as a backup in Atlanta. He spent the 2008 season as the backup in Pittsburgh and won a ring on the shoulders of Big Ben. After signing with Tampa Bay to be the starter for 2009, he was replaced as the 1st string QB by Josh Johnson in week 4 and ended the season on IR.

Leftwich is due a $3.5 million roster bonus in March so you can bet he’ll be released this offseason. Leftwich is almost certainly going to look for a starting opportunity, however its unclear if he’ll get one. After getting dumped by Jacksonville he’s been with three different teams in as many years, hardly the right environment to excel as a quarterback. If no team is willing to give him the chance to start, I’d expect him to return as the backup in Pittsburgh. Charlie Batch is old and Dennis Dixon is not ready to be an NFL QB. Given Big Ben’s concussion issues the Steelers need a veteran QB who’s familiar with the offense. Byron Leftwich fits the bill.

It’s pretty clear that Byron Leftwich will never be a franchise quarterback. When you’re drafted 7th overall that level of achievement is certainly expected, so it’s easy to dismiss Leftwich as a bust. However look at what he did in Jacksonville. He wasn’t tearing up the league, but he certainly wasn’t bad enough to be run out of town. Since then he’s bounced around with mixed results. It’s likely that he will be given another starting shot in his career. If he can win some games, maybe lead a team to the postseason then he may leave a different legacy. As Lord Byron once said, “Men are the sport of circumstances when it seems circumstances are the sport of men.” I’m not sure what that means, but Leftwich is a man and he plays a sport so it should apply.

You Can't Go Home Again

Thanks to Coach Coolbaugh, the struggles of JaMarcus Russell have been documented on this blog, and we have been asked to consider whether Russell can legitimately be dubbed The Worst Draft Pick in NFL History.

This is a worthy and interesting question. However, for the time being, I would like to consider a related question: Why was JaMarcus Russell taken number one in the first place?

There are, no doubt, a number of contributing factors, including Russell's physical and statistical dominance at LSU. And yet, Russell's draft stock was less a byproduct of his own successes than those of another man.

 

...

Daunte Rachard Culpepper was born in Ocala, FL, forty-five minutes south of the University of Florida's Gainesville campus. At nearby Vanguard High School, Culpepper emerged as a star athlete on three varsity teams, and his exploits on the football field eventually won him a spot on the Florida High School Athletic Association's All-Century Team alongside Sunshine State legends Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Ray Lewis, Deion Sanders, and Jesus H. Tebow.

As a blue-chip Florida recruit in the mid-90s, young Culpepper should have had his pick of the top local programs. In Tallahassee, Bobby Bowden's Seminoles were two years removed from a National Championship and coming off a victory over rival Florida in the Orange Bowl. Although mired in something of a bowl drought, the University of Miami had established itself during the 80s and early 90s as a powerhouse program, and had claimed a National Championship as recently as 1991. Then there were the Gators, a program on the rise under Coach Steve Spurrier, and a natural choice for Culpepper given his proximity to the school growing up.

In 1995, Culpepper's first year of college, Florida State began the season as the nation's consensus #1 team and beat Notre Dame in the Orange Bowl. The Hurricanes won the Big East despite their first three-loss season in years. In Gainesville, Culpepper's hometown Gators ran the table during the regular season and played in their first National Championship game.

Amidst all this excitement, Daunte Culpepper was nowhere to be found. The prized prospect had landed in Orlando, FL, a town better known for Walt Disney World than competitive college football. His team?

The University of Central Florida Knights--a Division III football school since it first fielded a team in 1979.

...

How does a top high school football player from Florida end up playing college ball at a D-III school?

It's unknown what Culpepper scored on the SAT, and since Division 1 uses a sliding standard for minimum SAT scores based on the applicant's high school GPA, it's difficult even to speculate. Here, however, is what we know:

Culpepper's GPA was below 3.55, since a GPA of 3.55 or above exempts applicants from the minimum SAT requirement (or, rather, drops the requirement to 400--the lowest score possible).

As of 2008, all Division II athletes must score a combined 820 (Math + Verbal) on the SAT. I believe it is fair to assume Culpepper scored below 820 since he enrolled in a D-III school rather than D-II. Possibly well below, since this standard may gone up since Culpepper entered college in 1995.

Once again, these standards are probably not the exact ones Culpepper failed to make, but a reasonable approximation thereof. At any rate, Culpepper's SAT score--probably somewhere in the 600-800 range--combined with his poor (but good enough to graduate!) GPA prevented him from playing for any D-I or D-II schools.

D-III, on the other hand, has no eligibility standards other than those imposed by the school itself, which is no doubt how Daunte found himself as the biggest, baddest man in Orlando during the fall of 1995.

...

Although statistics are unavailable for Culpepper's freshman year in D-III, it is safe to assume he did everything but ejaculate onto opposing mascots. Having watched a couple of D-III football games, and attended classes with a number of D-III football players, I don't need John Clayton's shriveled testicles to imagine the kind of nuclear fallout Culpepper unleashed on those poor, unsuspecting "scholar athletes."

That is because Culpepper is nothing short of human wrecking ball. Listed at 6'4 and 264 pounds, Culpepper runs the 40 in 4.6, and I actually do need a calculator to compute the amount of force His Blackness meted out on would-be tacklers. I'm not actually going to do the calculation, but needless to say, it's a lot of Newtons--and I don't mean Fig Newtons (although I'm sure Culpepper accounts for a lot of those, too).

During Culpepper's sophomore year, UCF conveniently jumped to D-I, undoubtedly buoyed by lobbying from people around D-III: coaches, athletics directors, hospital staff, and parents of pregnant cheerleaders who thought that this kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen at Emory, goddammit!

The rest of Culpepper's college career was a blur of big hits, unprotected sex, and more big hits.

As the man says: "We've got a linebacker playing quarterback!"

...

Culpepper wrapped up a four-year career at UCF with 84 passing touchdowns against 42 interceptions and entered the NFL Draft in 1999. Luckily for Daunte, this was the year that NFL GMs embraced the quarterblack, as Culpepper went 11th overall but somehow managed to be the third black quarterback taken (behind Syracuse legend-turned-Campbell's Chunky Soup enthusiast Donovan McNabb and Frankfurt Galaxy-turned-Calgary Stampeder Akili Smith). Minnesota had already blazed the quarterblack trail with Randall Cunningham and elected to push it to the limit with a physical freak worthy of Makhtar's most private desires.

Culpepper brought a combination of size and speed to the quarterback position that no one had ever seen before. Alongside Randy Moss and Cris Carter, Culpepper's Vikings won 11 games, and the second-year QB out of Orlando led the league with 33 TD passes.

For the next few seasons, Culpepper's value seesawed back and forth, but in 2004 he realized his ample potential with a season that left Makhtar with a blistered stump of a lightswitch and many sleepless nights. 

Overshadowed to some degree by Peyton Manning's better, more successful Colts team, Brother Culpepper turned in a campaign that was in many ways equal to Manning's:

69.2 completion %

5,123 all-purpose yards (an NFL record)

41 all-purpose TDs

110.9 QB rating

1 Star Wars reference ("I feel like a Jedi Knight,"  he said following the Pro Bowl)

In 2005, Makhtar eagerly predicted Culpepper would surpass his own lofty heights, penciling in the following fantasy stats with his one available hand:

4,950 passing yards

500 rushing yards

48 touchdowns

Already the victim of the Madden Curse in 2002, Culpepper now cruelly fell victim to the less notable Makhtar Curse, where everything Makhtar loves is immediately taken from him. (Note: The scope and power of this curse is capable of everything from robbing Daunte Culpepper of his effectiveness as a football player to driving relatively stable girls to volatile and unpredictable decisions, like relinquishing employment to move back in with her parents without warning).

...

Still, there were high hopes yet for Culpepper, as he was just a year removed from his historic season. But off-the-field incidents--including the now-famous boat scandal, where Culpepper engaged in four-way sexual intercourse with two women and one gay dude, with the proviso that the dude was not allowed to penetrate or otherwise ejaculate on the star QB but could help himself to any fondling thereof during the duration of said four-way--forced the Vikings to shop him around the league. Only 29, it seemed that Culpepper had plenty of juice left in the tank, but that a change of scenery might be in order.

The Dolphins, helmed by second-year coach Nick Saban--the same man who recruited JaMarcus Russell at LSU--decided that Culpepper would be his franchise QB, forgoing a done deal with then-free agent Drew Brees. For Culpepper, this was one of his happiest moments: a chance not only to return to his home state and play in front of his family but also to show the Vikings that his best days were ahead, illicit four-way sex scandal or not.

Immediately, it became clear that Saban's fetish for behemoth black quarterbacks was less successful in the NFL than it had been in college. Culpepper struggled while Brees soared to new heights, and soon, Daunte found himself injured and playing behind the likes of Joey Harrington and Miss Cleo Lemon.

The Miami experiment ended almost as quickly as it started, as Culpepper was in and out in one year, leaving behind just one trace of his tenure with the Dolphins:

In the meantime, Daunte learned a valuable lesson: you can't go home again. (Also, sucking dick isn't as fun in front of all your friends and family).

Broken, defeated, a shell of his former glory, Culpepper took refuge in the one place where talentless freak athletes will always find sanctuary:

The Oakland Raiders.

...

By now, we've come full circle, and the astute readers of this blog will have seen the writing on the wall:

Banished from Minnesota, exiled from Miami, Culpepper came to Oakland, where he was slated to mentor--but it can't be...

JaMarcus Russell, the former Sabanite who--at 6'6 and 260 pounds--was tabbed as the evolutionary Culpepper! Instead, he proved to be the devolution of Daunte, as his learning disabilities and the severity of his mental retardation dwarfed even the Culpepper Standard ("too dumb for D-I").

Between the two of them (and Josh McCown!), the Raiders wound up 4-12, although Culpepper got a measure of vengeance by scoring 5 TDs in a victory over the Dolphins team that spurned him.

...

Now, as Culpepper toils for Detroit in the twilight of his career, he will likely look at back at his lost year in Miami as the nadir of his time in football. However, if there is any solace to be found in schadenfreude, Culpepper can take pleasure in JaMarcus Russell's failures, secure in the knowledge that his transcendent peak convinced people around the NFL that they couldn't afford to pass on the Next Daunte Culpepper.

Unstoppable

I'm not sure where I was when I saw the first Eli Manning Citizen ad, but if my life were going to be developed into a motion picture based on the true story the moment would have occurred in the great room of the Bradford Estate, summer of 2007. The fegos and I, off the heels of a heated Fifa matchup between Portugal and England, are discussing whether the tree trunk nature of Marisa Jones-Drews' thighs is properly captured in the latest iteration of the Madden franchise when Eli's boyish mug comes on the screen.

TV: "Unstoppable. Eli Manning is."

Mahktar, Dream, Sleazer, LNW: ::Uprorious Laughter::
Fegonomist: ::Sheepish Chuckle::

Underneath the chuckle lives a series of mixed emotions. Embarassment that my team's QB1 is the subject of such a textbook case of ununtentional comedy, pride that I wear the same brand of watch that Eli is now probably contractually obligated to wear, and focused determination because I know I will now have to defend the merits of a man who will probably never meet the requirements his pedigree and predraft behavior would seem to set.

We all know Eli's background. Youngest member of the Manning QB dynasty. Eli's rookie season corresponded with Peyton's greatest statistical season.

G CMP ATT PCT YDS AVG TD LNG INT RAT
16 336 497 67.6 4557 9.2 49 80 10 121.1

Eli played 9 games with a 55.4 rating that year. Of course no reasonable person would expect a rookie to immediately be as productive as one of the top 5 greatest quarterbacks of all time, no matter how close the relation, but Peyton's greatness was like that world record pace line they have on Olympic swimming telecasts. It has been in front of Eli for probably his whole life, given a 6 year head start and moving at a historically great speed.

As of the premiere of the commercial, Peyton was coming off a Superbowl MVP season. Eli had done OK his second and third seasons: 24 TDs both seasons, INTs in the high teens, completion percentage in the 50s, QB rating in the mid to upper 70s. Not exactly the performance of a Wunderkind with the right to refuse to play for the team that drafted him. He seemed to grasp the offense well and come up with some nice throws and big plays, but he would often miss high on his receivers. Accuracy is not a problem you want to have with your Franchise QB.

Peyton exhibits command over the field. He knows his playbook like his lawyers know the bylines of his endorsement contracts, and if a receiver is open, the ball will get there. It's like he's his 99 rated Madden character playing on Pro and he knows how to use all those complicated presnap adjustment controls. To expect Eli to be the next progression in QB evolution is expecting too much. Throw in the fact that Eli forced his way out of San Diego and was traded for Phillip Rivers and picks used to draft Shawn "I Took Steroids but No One Really Cares Because I Kill Skill Position Players Rather Than Baseballs for a Living" Merrimen and Nate "Always a Solid Fantasy Option" Kaeding, and you got a lot of potential Haterade to sip on. I feel like that's where the majority of fans are coming from. This includes Giants fans when Eli is having an off day, or simply if the Giants lose that week. This does not include The Fegonomist, for I believe I have the proper perspective.

My thesis is as follows: A) Yes, Eli Manning is Unstoppable...at being Eli Manning. B) Eli Manning is a Franchise Quarterback.

I define a Franchise Quaterback as a guy you can pencil in every year for 10 or so years at the position without having to worry about finding a replacement to make a serious Super Bowl run.

Of course B) is hard to disprove, given the criteria I offered, considering the events of February 3rd, 2008, but for some reason Eli's still got haters, at least within the comments of the Giants blogs I read.

I think it has more to do with A). Eli is not Peyton-evolved and never will be. He makes mistakes, gets away with throws that should be intercepted, and still isn't the most accurate quarterback. But the fact remains that he's improved every year he's been in the league except for a slight regression in 2007. And what do you know? The Giants won the Super Bowl that year.

2009 was Eli's best statistical season. He passed for over 4000 yards for the first time, rated in the 90s (93.1) for the first time, and completed 62.3% of his passes. Some of that can be attributed to the strongest core of receivers and the crappiest running game he's had in his career, but Eli was definitely not the reason the Giants fell well below expectations this year (Kenny Phillips replaced by P.P. Brown, tons of other defensive injuries, aging O-line, RBs with broken lower bodies, and Bill Sheridan are a few of the causes I would place above Eli).

In 2010 I expect more of the same from Eli. Steady leadership, improved accuracy, occasional mistakes (delay of game penalties being the most annoying of the lot), some game-saving throws, lots of audibles and pointing out of the Mike. If the Giants get someone competant to coach their defense and can limit themselves to 2 major injuries or less, I have confidence that they can return to the promised land on the above-average arm of the Unstoppable Eli Manning. I'll be saving my glass of Haterade for C.C. Brown.

Do I look like I care...what people think?

As some of you may have heard, everyone's favorite jaw-punching head coach/walrus, Tom Cable,  recently remarked that if the Raiders had gotten "average to above-average" play from the quarterback position, the Raiders would be in the playoffs. Now, put aside for a moment the fact that this statement is completely false and consider this: The Raiders may have been led by the worst possible combination of Quarterbacks that the NFL has ever seen. The best performer, in my estimation, was none other than the Rampaging Pollack himself, Bruce Gradkowski. Some credit must also be given to Charlie Frye, who despite playing himself off the roster in Cleveland (!), managed to throw for 333 yards against his former squad this season. That leaves us with King Poop himself, Jamarcus Russell.

When Jamarcus declared for the 2007 draft after his junior year at LSU, scouts nearly creamed themselves over his measurables: A rocket launcher for an arm, a 4.84 40 and what Todd McShay called "left tackle" length arms. I like to think that on his pro day, this guy was watching from his island lair/kiddie porn dungeon and tenting his fingers ala Mr. Burns. No one was shocked when the Raiders took him first overall (for those keeping score at home, Calvin Johnson was taken at #2 and Adrian Peterson at #7), but no one was particularly shocked when he lost the one game he started his rookie year. Nor were they shocked when he had a record of 5-10 his first year as the starter. I mean, his numbers weren't horrific  (2423 yds passing, 13 TDs...er, 8 INTs, 12 Fumbles), and its not unusual for 1st year QBs to post similar records (see Manning, Peyton). Also, let's not forget who his leading rusher was. That leaves this year.

While watching the first MNF game of this season with Sleazer, it came up during the telecast that Jamarcus was having a problem with the playbook. Namely, he could only memorize the routes on one side of the field. Now, I haven't heard this since, but if this is in fact true, WHY THE HELL WAS HE ALLOWED TO START?  Hearing this, I decided to check out his Wonderlic score, given the shitstorm that occured when VY turned in a sterling 6. You would assume that Poopmarcus would be hovering around 3, but he miraculously scored a 24. Color me un-fucking-convinced.  I'm of the opinion that he memorized the answers. That said, he turned in a score one point higher than that of Jason Campbell and one lower than "Ben," so he's not exactly in the company of Mensa, but a respectable fake score nonetheless. Fun fact: The Leak Treat turned in an 8. Fitting.

In that same MNF game, I found myself surprisingly impressed by the Raiders. Except, of course, Jamarcus (and to be fair, Heyward-Bey), who threw 2 picks and had a 40% comp rate. So maybe Tom Cable was on to something. Actually, he wasn't and the Raiders suck, but the Raiders have managed to eke out a couple wins under the expert helmsmanship of Gradkowski.   Though since his initial benching, Jamarcus has come back to help out (and even win a game!), I'm pretty confident that we're nearing the end of the Russell experience. Somewhere Ryan Leaf is smiling (and not just because he's high as a motherfucker). The longer he plays, the more likely it is that Jamarcus steals his throne as biggest QB Bust ever. I leave you with his enduring legacy: Being so top-heavy that he can't stand up.