Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Heyheyhey...Adam.

If you run in my circles, you know I am freakishly (fegishly?) excited for this season of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Apparently this one is the Duel 2. I still would have to go to wikipedia to tell you what the differences between the gauntlet, the inferno, and the duel are, but that doesn't really matter. As long as we've got our usual dosage of high testosterone adonises threatening to pepper each other's sauces and a couple of chicks like this to keep the proceedings from getting too fegosh, I'm in.

Ever since I saw the trailer for this iteration of the challenge and analyzed the fight scenes with Makhtar for hours on gchat, I have been going around telling everyone to look at CT's myspace page and I've been proclaiming the Challenge my 3rd favorite sport to watch (Basketball and Football are the top 2...in that order...I think).

As you may have seen, CT and fego Adam get into it. Either Adam has a beta crush on Diem and is defending her honor, he's trying to goad CT into an altercation so the Rasheed Wallace of the challenges is DQ-d (Alton is something like the T-mac or the Terrell Davis of the challenges. Maybe the Miguel Tejada. This fegonomic comparison deserves it's own post.), or he's just plain stupid. Either way, CT absolutely ram jams Adam right in the eye. FANtastic. It also seems as though the altercation is allowed to go on the whole night and change venues like in Street Fighter (credit: Makhtar). That clearly signals to me that the producers know what they are getting when they invite a Manimal like CT onto the challenge and encourage the chaos that ensues.

Overall I am amped for this season to start. We at Fegonomics have theorized that this season will be more over the top than any in history because ever since (I believe) the Real World: Las Vegas, every season of the Real World or the Challenge has tried to outdo itself. This was until it reached its apex with Hollywood, which bursted the bubble and led to a subdued Brooklyn (JD's table smash and Ryan's PTSD aside). The Duel 2 is our stimulus package to return the Real World Universe to equilibrium.

Because Makhtar and I were both equally excited to watch the premiere and had nothing more interesting going on in our lives, we decided to have a little gchat while we watched and post highlights of what transpired. Enjoy.

The Fegonomist: Here comes the duel, baby!
Makhtar Ndiaye: Fuck I was watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay
Why are there so many whiteblack guys on G to gents?
The Fegonomist: I popped the chat out for this
In fact I will maximize
Makhtar Ndiaye: here it is
yes
The Fegonomist: i'm breaking new ground
Makhtar Ndiaye: this is your consciousness
for the next hour
The Fegonomist: it feels like the Architect's room in the Matrix
Makhtar Ndiaye: I'm gonna do it too




Makhtar Ndiaye: I can tell right now this is going to move too fast
for me
too much shit's going to go down in this episode
The Fegonomist: didnt you drink your 3 redbulls
Makhtar Ndiaye: haha
The Fegonomist: don’t worry about punctuation and spelling baby
Makhtar Ndiaye: no I'm going to want to do extreme sports afterwards



The Fegonomist: fuck TJ Lavin
Makhtar Ndiaye: I liked Jonny Moseley better, he had those all-american good looks
The Fegonomist: why does it have to be an xtreme sports guy. it should be rob dyrdek
Makhtar Ndiaye: no
bob burnquist
I dunno
rodney mullen
fuck I'm just listing guys off of Tony Hawk's pro skater II





[Evan mentions that every big guy in the history of the Challenge is on the Duel this season]
The Fegonomist: EVERY BIG GUY
Makhtar Ndiaye: hahahaha
not true
no miz
Isaac's not a big guy
The Fegonomist: I think he's there
Isaac is chiseled
and the coolest jew ever
Makhtar Ndiaye: no Miz is WWE tag team champion
he's got a no-compete clause



The Fegonomist: Upon hearing the rules butters exclaims "WHAT?!?"
Makhtar Ndiaye: Do the rules really matter?
The Fegonomist: No, but that's butters
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah
The Fegonomist: He is surprised bc he never watched before
Makhtar Ndiaye: He doesn't get it yet.
Wait until Ruthie and Katie go ass to ass.
That's going to blow his mind



The Fegonomist: shauvon is gonna get it
you heard it here first



[Literally three minutes later, two people emerge from the bushes, giggling and zipping up their pants]

The Fegonomist: who is it
guess
oh nevermind
Makhtar Ndiaye: shauvon
ugh
The Fegonomist: wow
CALLED IT
Makhtar Ndiaye: hahahaha
COUNT IT
she's all bloated
The Fegonomist: who was the dude?
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah that's the question
we need maury povich
oh
The Fegonomist: it was CT
Makhtar Ndiaye: fuck
CT
The Fegonomist: YES
Makhtar Ndiaye: CT
No
CT is heartless
The Fegonomist: MY BOY
Makhtar Ndiaye: fucking shauvon
do you think she's hot?
she's everything that's wrong with America
The Fegonomist: no not really
i mean the tata's are real
but she's not the type we go for
she's not like the little sister in Privileged
Makhtar Ndiaye: she's an over-inflated Cameron D
The Fegonomist: damn CT gave her the American Psycho
Makhtar Ndiaye: what's that?
The Fegonomist: i bet he was flexing
Makhtar Ndiaye: haha
Eric Bana in Munich



The Fegonomist: CT just pissed over the whole house
asserted his dominance
i want to study him
like the guy in freakonomics studied the drug dealer



Makhtar Ndiaye: Oh my god CT's fist is bigger than Adam's head
The Fegonomist: It sucks that Adam didn’t just drop like a sack of potatoes
Makhtar Ndiaye: Pummeled into the dust!
The Fegonomist: just goes ragdoll on contact
Makhtar Ndiaye: here's the question though--if CT went on Bully Beatdown, how much money would he make
The Fegonomist: i would pay so much to see that. Adam is the nerd
Makhtar Ndiaye: He’d get money, get paid if you got him muppet drunk
The Fegonomist: It Was All A Dream text: Again with the face hit!


[Adam is escorted outside so that CT doesn't break his orbital. Meanwhile, 17 people are holding CT back so he doesn't break Adam over his knee]

Makhtar Ndiaye: fuck he's coming out of his onesy
[Adam tries to get back inside]
The Fegonomist: hahahaha. evan grabs him by one arm



The Fegonomist: What is CT's athlete comparison?
Makhtar Ndiaye: Lorenzo Neal?
The Fegonomist: hahhha
Makhtar Ndiaye: Contextually within the framework of the challenge?
Pac Man Jones
The Fegonomist: hmm
Makhtar Ndiaye: Gotta be PMJ
The Fegonomist: Plus sheed
plus ray lewis
Makhtar Ndiaye: whoa
ray lewis is a saint
The Fegonomist: he said he doesn’t hit to hurt people
he hits to take their soul
Makhtar Ndiaye: that's kayfabe




The Fegonomist: Wow so CT is 240
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah
are we assuming that he's my height?
The Fegonomist: 6 ft tall
Makhtar Ndiaye: because that'd make him a cheast
jesus
The Fegonomist: a chinese beast?
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah



The Fegonomist: I am just fascinated by CT
Makhtar Ndiaye: god
You got a permaboner for him
The Fegonomist: He is just all id
Makhtar Ndiaye: he's like a distillation of all of roissy's philosophy
The Fegonomist: he's a pure alpha
and he gets diem to fall in love with him
despite all her logic
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah that's fucking ridiculous
The Fegonomist: and the fact that she's so nice
Makhtar Ndiaye: he still has her on a string
The Fegonomist: it’s just the affirmation of all human mating psychology
the archetype



Makhtar Ndiaye: I’ll say, I like alton better though. I'm always one to bow down to the black athlete, but that might be a different argument.
The Fegonomist: the problem with alton
was that he flamed out
on his last challenge
he was like sammy sosa
he was so dominant for so long
do you remember the last one he was on
he sucked
Makhtar Ndiaye: no
The Fegonomist: i was actually depressed about it
The Fegonomist: it was like realizing my dad wasn’t as strong as hulk hogan
Makhtar Ndiaye: will this change your mind:

The Fegonomist: jesus
and he has a snake cock too
Makhtar Ndiaye: you know that for a fact?
The Fegonomist: he made irulan gasp when she saw it
Makhtar Ndiaye: each of his abs is like a dinner roll
you can just grab each of them individually



Makhtar Ndiaye: does nick have chris leak eyes?
The Fegonomist: what are chris leak eyes?
Makhtar Ndiaye: like those beautiful, grey eyes
The Fegonomist: waaaooooww




The Fegonomist: so adam and ct are gone
wow
fuckin bo jackson
Makhtar Ndiaye: MJ
The Fegonomist: its nick and mike
yeah
mj is mcconaughey
Makhtar Ndiaye: you scouted ahead?
The Fegonomist: I just remember from the preview i watched 70 times
Makhtar Ndiaye: hahahaha
The Fegonomist: ct again doesnt even get to do a challenge
Makhtar Ndiaye: he did this before?
The Fegonomist: yeah he fuckin punched davis
Makhtar Ndiaye: oh yeah
made davis cry
fuck
The Fegonomist: he was like hey davis can you take a punch


The Fegonomist: nick’s gonna have a kobe's pinkie game
Makhtar Ndiaye: haha
fuck Ryan's a snake for choosing nick
The Fegonomist: yeah fuck that
Makhtar Ndiaye: like he was rubbing himself to nick while he was soaking his hand
The Fegonomist: he really wanted to stay so he could go ass to ass with davis
haha
i want von to win
Makhtar Ndiaye: von wafer
why?
The Fegonomist: i dont like aneesa
Makhtar Ndiaye: she has nothing going for her
I guess
The Fegonomist: and i want von to get pounded again


[At this point our conversation has spilled over into the After Show; hosted by Mark with special guests Shauvon, Diem, Adam, and Mr. Id himself.]

Makhtar Ndiaye: is shauvon pregnant?
she just blown up
The Fegonomist: she's fat
ms piggy
Makhtar Ndiaye: I did not have sex with CT
oh wait
I had sex with CT
god damn it
The Fegonomist: did she give him an otphj?


The Fegonomist: Shauvon was so much skinnier in the challenge Von looks like Anna Nicole.
Makhtar Ndiaye: Anna Nicole show era Anna
I mean, I'll say I used to be attracted to her. I thought she was all dark and gothy. Now she's just another rollerpig
The Fegonomist: warpig


Makhtar Ndiaye: Who would win in an academic decathlon between Brad and Scott from
Brooklyn?
The Fegonomist: Neither would finish



Makhtar Ndiaye: If I ever got a six-pack, I would go after Jamie Chung. I'd take shirtless pictures of myself and post them on her myspace and shit.
The Fegonomist: you'd have to be alpha, though. No approach anxiety
Makhtar Ndiaye: yeah I mean it'd one of those "hey we're both asian" pickups.