At least I won't be unoriginal

So I was going to get started on this last night, but sadly my attention shifted towards a mixture of pitiful reruns of the VMA's (you were right Howie), America's Got Talent, and the Santa Clause 3. It really baffles me how they got to a 3rd one. Who approves this shit? No JTT, no Tool Time hottie, not even Kid Rock's dwarf pal Joe C wearing jingle bells. C'mon Tim Allen, throw me a frickin' bone. Give me Kardashian + Ray Jay's licorice candy cane + Haley Joel Osment = Santa Clause 4 - I Saw Mommy bangbroing Santa Clause.

Before I get started, here's a few things I wanted to get out of the way:

- I'm really excited for the Heroes series premiere. If you guys have never seen Heroes, this is a good reason to get started.


- Alex Smith is going on the IR for a broken shoulder, and this has affected exactly zero fantasy teams this year

- You can turn on the Spike channel at any given moment, and there is a 90% chance it's gonna be CSI

- I think I'm the last of the OHHH EIGHT allstars who has failed to acquire some source of income, whether that be eating free bagels on Casual Fridays or slobbering over Mike Lewis' cock in hopes of dollar bills cumming out. I fear my rejection rate is reaching Matt Cohen-esque numbers. I got the goods, but I'm missing the game.

ok NOW for the gayest thing that will ever be on this blog. So recently I was shown a certain video from a gay friend. It was a porno. It was kinda gay. It was a gay porn. But it wasn't just any gay porn oh no. I dunno if some of you know this kid, but Christopher LaCross, more aptly named Topher, went to Tufts, was part of Wilderness, and was quite frankly, part of our lives. By now you're already hating me for the link, but at least you didn't have to see the smegma particles up close and personal. My notions of a meathead douchbag was all changed after I was shown a video of him. Apparently he was paid to participate in a solo session, involving mostly his hand and his genitals. While I don't necessarily condone shoving oblong glass objects into your anus, and then using your own jizz as lubricant, I pose this question: what exactly would it take for you to do a homosexual porno? Millions of dollars? Free gas for life? 5 minutes with Erin Andrews? I'm jobless and the market isn't looking good, so don't think it hasn't crossed my mind...I used to sit behind this kid in Physics class. He's a premed and will one day be treating your herniated disks, or giving you Tommy John surgery. He also loves dildos up his butt. You stew on that for a bit.


Let's just end this on a heterosexual note, and I'll leave you with Michelle Hunziker, my new internet lust interest. Man, I have too much free time.