Slash of All Trades

Editors Note: As part of our groundbreaking 32 for 32 project, we have recruited some of this generation's most promising young journalists to offer their two cents on the QB's of past and present. Each of these mercenary storytellers will weave their unique points of view and styles into the Fegonomics tapestry, with the hope being that the project becomes more than the sum of its parts. (Ahhhh....who am I kidding, I've told everyone to a. Accuse every QB of being gay and b. worship the black quarterback's throbbing hard athleticism). Here is the first of these submissions:

Holy crap, is that Dennis Dixon?

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This statement fully defines his career. For what it's worth, Kordell Stewart will be remembered by most for his best Doug Flutie impersonation, but that is merely an outlier in the data of mediocrity. It certainly is one of the best plays my lifetime, even I can admit that, and I hate Colorado. But in Pittsburgh, "Slash" will be remembered for being an amazing athlete and depressingly mediocre at everything that mattered - being an NFL quarterback.

How mediocre, you ask? So mediocre that his accomplishments and stats are eerily similar to the Incomparable Michael Vick.

Stewart has 1 Pro Bowl to his name, and took the Steelers to two AFC Championship Games. Vick has 3 Pro bowls, and took the Falcons to the NFC Championship game once. Their career numbers are almost exactly the same. Let's break it down by the numbers (courtesy of Pro Football Reference):

Player X

• 71 TDs
  
• 53.7% Completion Percentage
• 75.8 QB Rating
• 22 Rushing TDs
• 0.567 Win Percentage as a Starter

Player Y

• 77 TDs
• 55.8% Completion Percentage
• 70.7 QB Rating
• 38 Rushing TDs
• 0.585 Win Percentage as a Starter

Player X is Vick. Player Y is Stewart. Kordell also has more passing yards and INTs, while Vick has more rushing yards, but Vick is simply so much more exciting. Stewart was boringly productive for someone so talented. Before the pooch fighting, Vick was hailed as one of the sports' greats. Kordell will be remembered as merely pedestrian. Not to say that Kordell didn't get his share of hype. But even better, he was featured on the cover of a magazine with Troy Aikman, Brett Favre, and John Elway. Henh??

Slash was supposed to be the most versatile athlete ever to play the quarterback position. His rookie year, the Steelers lost in the Super Bowl with Neil O'Donnell as their starter. Who? Anyway, that year Kordell took snaps at Quarterback, Running Back, Receiver, and even Punter. Too bad he spent most of his time in a revolving door quarterback system, otherwise he could have put up more mediocre stats. He ended his time in Pittsburgh being benched for a former Arena League and XFL quarterback. The year AFTER leading the Steelers to a 13-3 record and the AFC Championship game, and amid rumors that he also was "slash" gay. Too bad he didn't accept it and claim the success that comes with being the NFL's first gay quarterback.

Unfortunately for Kordell, having so many talents means you aren't likely to be very good at the one that matters. Without a true quarterback's talent, he just wasn't fit to be Pittsburgh's Heir to the quarterback Throne.

Bonus: