Jeff Garcia: The Life and Times of the NFL's First Gay Quarterback

October 19th, 1980. A Sunday.

At Candlestick Park, second-year quarterback Joe Montana loses his home debut, but throws for 252 and two touches.  Over the next 12 seasons, the 49ers win 100 regular season games and lose only 38 (.725), capturing four Super Bowls in eight years.

April 24th, 1987. After two years of purgatory in Creamsicle Bay, Steve Young is traded to San Francisco for a pair of picks, neither of them first-rounders. Young serves under Montana for four seasons, but at age 30, Brigham's favorite son is handed the keys to the Caddy. From ages 30 to 38, Young wins at an even higher clip than Montana (.736), but only manages to win one Super Bowl.

October 3rd, 1999. Young, crippled by the seventh concussion of his NFL career, starts only 3 games, two of them victories. His replacement? An undrafted 29-year-old rookie out of San Jose State named Jeff Garcia.

But this is not where our story begins.

...

In 1970, Jeffrey Jason Garcia is born in Gilroy, a city of 50,000 in central California. At 14, Garcia tries out for the JV football team, and earns a spot on the bench beneath sophomore quarterback Dave "Quickie" Kelso.  Garcia sees limited action during the first four games of the season.

On the Friday of the fifth game, Garcia trots onto the practice field and begins tossing with Kelso. It's pre-game and there are no contact drills, so the players are dressed in helmets, t-shirts, and shorts. Minutes later, Garcia huddles up with the scout offense.  The huddle breaks and Garcia watches his blockers line up before him. Walking up, he runs the play over in his mind, and steps under his center, Willie "HeMan" Herrera.

HeMan was a sophomore who smelled like schwag and took the bus to school. Large, forgetful, forgettable--but not on this day. On this day, in what must have been a celebration of freedom and indulgence, Willie Herrera decided not to wear a cup.

It wasn't until Garcia made contact that either boy realized the magnitude of this decision. Herrera stiffened up immediately but stifled a cry. Garcia thought to withdraw his hand but instead let it linger. Settling under center, he pressed his hands into Herrera's crotch, went calmly through the cadence, and snapped the ball.

The play-action pass resulted in a 16 yard gain. HeMan Herrera returned quietly to the locker room to piss. Jeff Garcia became gay.

...

After his revelation, Garcia's football career took off. He became more and more invested in the sport, both as proof of his manhood and as an opportunity to towel down with his teammates, and this enthusiasm showed on the field. Garcia made the Varsity team as a sophomore, and during his two years as a starter, the Alpha Flyers won 17 games against only two losses. Shameful, chronic masturbatory sessions to a Chippendale's calendar taken from his cousin's bachelorette party had given Garcia a strong throwing arm, but his slight build kept recruitment light. He was forced to take classes at a local community college before landing a chance to QB the Spartans of San Jose State.

His play continued to improve, but did not attract much attention, as he went undrafted by the NFL. Unwilling to give up the sport, Garcia latched on with the Calgary Stampeders of the CFL, leading the team to five strong finishes after Doug Flutie left the team for Toronto. After winning the Grey Cup with Calgary in 1998, Garcia abandoned the junior circuit, accepting an offer from the San Francisco 49ers to backup Steve Young.

When Young went down, Garcia stepped in, sharing time with Steve Stenstrom as San Francisco finished below .500 for the first time in 16 years. The following year, Young retired and Garcia was named the starter, something childhood "best friend" Peter Bronson described as "breathtakingly beautiful."

In many ways, Garcia's five-year tenure with the 49ers was a modest and unlikely success, as San Francisco twice made the playoffs and staged a memorable comeback in a Wild Card game against the New York Giants. Yet Garcia failed to achieve the same success as either of his decorated predecessors. Garcia never led the league in any category despite being buttressed by two elite receiver (Jerry Rice and Terrell Owens) and a strong running back (Garrison Hearst).

Instead, Garcia's career in San Francisco is remembered for a different reason: the prevalence of rampant, vicious speculation about Garcia's sexual preferences. The media shitstorm was set ablaze by Owens shortly after he left the team when he said of Garcia in Playboy, "If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat." Off the record, Owens later added, "That dude tried to touch my penis!"

Rumors swirled out of the Niners locker room about Garcia's unusual... tendencies. Star defensive tackle Bryant Young remarked that Garcia frequently showered with swim trunks on and "still got [an erection] probably half the time." Ken Norton, a longtime 49er and standout linebacker, claimed that Garcia "asked repeatedly to see [Norton's] magnum condoms." Said Norton, "One 'no' ought to be enough."

Most telling of all, however, is that of the five centers who played with Garcia in San Francisco, none were willing to comment on his time there.

After leaving San Francisco in 2004, Garcia tried to put the city behind him, marrying Playboy Playmate Carmella DeCesare. Still, the Bay years were the best and most memorable of Garcia's career. "He blossomed like a rare and exotic flower," Bronson said. "He really felt at home in San Francisco. Playing in Detroit--not so friendly." And yet, lingering questions remain: 

How good would Garcia have been if he'd been given a chance in the NFL draft? 

Has he been unfairly judged in the shadows of Montana and Young? 

Would San Francisco have won the Super Bowl in 2001 if Garcia had been able to play without imagining T.O.'s thick, pulsing, Nubian member?

The NFL may never know.

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HEIGHT: 6 ft 1 in

WEIGHT: 205 lbs

THROWS: RIGHT

SEX: HOMO