If you're a fan of this blog--and not someone who accidentally stumbled here by googling "asian guy from saw"--then you owe it to yourself to read Earnest's post from earlier today. And, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't think of stepping on his toes by posting the same day. But that was before I read this.
Now, as a Red Sox fan, it's hard for me to read this article objectively. But let's try, shall we?
"Jeter the name that matters: If Yankees' captain ever ended up on positive test list, baseball's done"
That's the headline that Gene Wojciechowski and his editor at ESPN.com decided to go with? Clearly, Wojo is trying a little hyperbole on for size, since even Yankee die-hards have to recognize what a ridiculous claim this. Baseball, after all, survived a fixed World Series, multiple strikes, and a season-ending lockout, among other obstacles. No one player is going to undermine the sports' popularity (see: Rose, Pete), no matter how many celebrities he's dated.
But maybe Gene-o is just using the outrageous claim as a ploy to grab readers. Maybe the article itself is reasonable and carefully considered...
"If I ever see Jeter's name attached to the hip of performance enhancers, I'm done. I mean it--I'll never watch another big league game again."
Then you, sir, are a Derek Jeter fan, not a baseball fan. You should probably be writing articles for the Derek Jeter Fan Association (Knoxville Chapter) and not the front page of a major baseball website.
Look, Jeter's a great player, and there's no reason to think he's ever used steroids. Maybe I'm being unfair, but in the name of Reginald VelJohnson, what in the world makes him so special? He's not baseball's Atlas--he's just another ballplayer.
"So far the game has survived the depressing revelations. It sort of coagulates, scabs up and then heals as best as it can.
But there could come a time when the PED damage reaches a tipping point. For me, the magic number is 2.
Jeter's jersey number."
Jeez. How much knob could slob-knob slob if the knob was attached to Derek Jeter's chiseled, statuesque frame?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
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I didn't realize that when you google "Asian guy from saw," we're the top hit. I've never been so proud in my life. U-S-A! U-S-A!
ReplyDeleteIf there's anything I've learned in the past 5 years about baseball it's that I shouldn't waste my time speculating about who's clean and who's a Conte client. Sure a quick glance at most of the outed users' stats makes their chemical assistance look more obvious than Clay Aiken salivating to ride the sybian on an episode of Howard Stern, but it still doesn't fully characterize what the culture was like. I say release the fucking list, put McGwire in the HOF, and let's move past this Jeter (circle) Jerk. Sipping on Andro wasn't a crime according to the Selig files before 2003 so is MLB focused on penalizing the guys that had the best connections back then? Back to the article, the only organic enhancer Jeter's been gargling these last 5 years is the cup of steaming spud A-rod leaves in his locker after tugging it to yaboy Capt. America.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this whole debacle has already become such a Ringley Bros. extravaganza, it's practically silly willie parker to even keep playing "Guess Who?" (I always loved how you got the auto-win if your opponent had a chick/black person). The fact that they're "leaking" about 2-3 stars per year on that list, and the ensuing rehasing frenzy that follows each time, demonstrates just how far baseball has to go before we get past this bullshit. It also means we'll probably be hearing about 73 yr. old Randy Johnson hooked on chronics when 2020 rolls around.
ReplyDeleteIt's a dumb article for so many reasons.
ReplyDelete1.) Contrived reference to social networking website. Always a red flag for a shitty article.
2.) Assuming anything about the moral character of a public figure is just dumb. The thing that separates Jeter from Bonds, Arod, and Clemens to me is that he's more secure than them. For all we know he could have as big of an ego, but he doesn't seem to crave validation from anyone. Getting his salad tossed by Megan Fox one night and Bar Rafaeli the next is enough for him. That may be the quality that caused those guys to juice and him not to, but who knows. He's also very media savvy. Could be smarter than those guys and realize he would eventually get caught. Either way, I don't think it has anything to do with him being a panacea of morality.
If we're wrong (as I don't think anyone thinks he juiced) and he was hittin the PEDz dispenser, then maybe it does signal some lack of virtue in society. But, I really have no sympathy for idealists. They should know what they are getting themselves into.
4. Who the fuck is Dr. Oz?
5. Pujols is a deal-breaker, too? There's at least a 45% chance the man has been on it his whole career. He won the silver slugger at age 16, right?
6. Now we have a whole list? Griffey, fine. But Thome? Uhhhhh are you sitting down, Wojo? Nevermind the fact that the list contradicts your thesis (the one you restate at the end of the article after you list 9 other guys besides Jeter), but if you take any 9 guys who played between Canseco's rookie year and 2003, one of them was bound to be on the juice. Now, maybe some of those guys he listed started after '03 and don't count as major PED threats. I don't have LNW's encylopedic knowledge of baseball and don't feel like looking up if that's the case. Point is, this list contradicts the point of the article and leaves Wojo open to much heartache. I think he added it in to widen his audience so fans of other teams would be into the article, not just Yankee fans and Yankee haters. So, this falls in line with the Facebook reference. Contrived.
Conclusion: My Wolfpack of lame sportswriters went from a one wolf pack to two. Mark Bianchi, take out your replica medieval dagger and slice your hand up for your new blood brother.
We should produce the eqivalent of "hit em up" for all the sports writers we despise. Add modern day Rick Reily to that list.
ReplyDeleteSkip Bayless, don't you got sickle cell or something?
ReplyDelete