It's a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited!

Here we are with a fresh batch of dopplegangers, albeit delayed since the last outing for a few reasons:

1). As amusing as it is to unearth look-alikes, it takes an unexpectedly long time to scour FB in search for a "great" picture, either amongst Friends (flipping through hundreds of photos of debauchery, unruliness, or downright fucking goofiness), or Nonfriends (takes a bit of sleight of hand stalker behavior which I've perfected as an art).

2). Within Fegonomics, we try to maintain a sense of anonymity, however I've actually introduced a risky peripheral by choosing subjects that some of us (and our avid fans) may recognize. The last few have been fairly tame, but some of the ones I had slated for this one and future posts, in reconsideration, might be beyond the appropriate boundaries of this blog. I don't wanna be the jerk that catapults Fegonomics into infamy due to the future decades of defacement and slander lawsuits.

3). I've finally submitted to the Jehovah's Witness holy conversion and denounced the heathen ways of Windows to be replaced by thy savior Macintosh. While it's infinitely more streamlined and user-friendly, I'm slowly taking off the training wheels after years of Paint, and upgrading to a hatful of hotrod photo editing options. I was driving a Mazda Geo, but now I'm handling a fucking spaceship. It's so easy a caveman can do it!



Let's warm up in the bullpen a bit...

Our first Jumbo affiliate sports the dapper style and the hypnotic smile of actor Justin Bartha, made famous recently in The Hangover. The movie possesses a plotline with Matt Wieters upside, but ultimately fails to live up to the hype. It has its moments that'll make you chuckle and guffaw, but if you've caught glimpses of the trailer, then you basically can sleuth your way to figuring out "Where in the World is Justin San Diego?" Stick around for the credits though if you end up watching this movie, it won't disappoint. Neither will Tyson's nightingale harmonics. Lennnnox......

Alright, working up a sweat now. The following two were graciously submitted by Oden and Dream:


It's Shelden! In addition to Sheed, let's formally welcome Mr. Candace Parker to Boston green and white. The former Duke phenom has bounced around the league the last couple of years, but that doesn't discount his rampant Orc-like inside game and his elite ability to bowl over Earl Boykin hobbits whenever he pleases.


One has to think that Matt Groening is a pre-cog for having the creative foresight to model cartoon Junior Griffey after Shelden. This look-alike fucking cracks me up, and is probably my favorite. I went so far as to rewatch the episode. Mr. Burns ends up hiring Pros to replace the Joes on the Springfield team to ensure victory against Shelbyville. Interestingly enough, some of the other ringers include Roger Clemens, Jose Conseco, and Daryl Strawberry. At one point, Clemens destroys Homer's Wonderbat with a single pitch. Hmm, Clemens with an juiced up pitch? Griffey later drinks this tonic that enlarges his head (not to incriminate Griffey or anything, but you never know). Growth tonics? That's some eerie, yet clever foresight, Mr. Groening. Eerie indeed.

To the seventh inning stretch...


With every revered Zirui Song or Hsupinos, there is also the antithetic player that is universally hated. I'm assuming every person has their own anecdotal evidence of this person being an Ultimate Tool, so don't be shy with your campfire stories in the comments. Wait, isn't this extending beyond the appropriate boundaries, you say? Earnest, might you going way past the endzone on this one? And besides, he's a future moon astronaut! Exaaaaaactly (this one's for you Billy Mays, you and Daryl would've been BFFs).

We're going into extra innings:

THE GLOVE DOESN'T FIT!!!!! THE GLOVE DOESN'T FIT!!!!!!!!


OH it's a walk-off HOMEEEE RUNNNNNN!

Courtesy of Pureharshmonium and Mahktar. No one told me it was couples night!

UPDATE: Originally I was gonna leave you guys with a stellar video, but I'll let you guys blow your loads over it when Mahktar features him on FREAKS. It combines the two talents that I unashamedly wish I was an expert at.