Do I look like I care...what people think?

As some of you may have heard, everyone's favorite jaw-punching head coach/walrus, Tom Cable,  recently remarked that if the Raiders had gotten "average to above-average" play from the quarterback position, the Raiders would be in the playoffs. Now, put aside for a moment the fact that this statement is completely false and consider this: The Raiders may have been led by the worst possible combination of Quarterbacks that the NFL has ever seen. The best performer, in my estimation, was none other than the Rampaging Pollack himself, Bruce Gradkowski. Some credit must also be given to Charlie Frye, who despite playing himself off the roster in Cleveland (!), managed to throw for 333 yards against his former squad this season. That leaves us with King Poop himself, Jamarcus Russell.

When Jamarcus declared for the 2007 draft after his junior year at LSU, scouts nearly creamed themselves over his measurables: A rocket launcher for an arm, a 4.84 40 and what Todd McShay called "left tackle" length arms. I like to think that on his pro day, this guy was watching from his island lair/kiddie porn dungeon and tenting his fingers ala Mr. Burns. No one was shocked when the Raiders took him first overall (for those keeping score at home, Calvin Johnson was taken at #2 and Adrian Peterson at #7), but no one was particularly shocked when he lost the one game he started his rookie year. Nor were they shocked when he had a record of 5-10 his first year as the starter. I mean, his numbers weren't horrific  (2423 yds passing, 13 TDs...er, 8 INTs, 12 Fumbles), and its not unusual for 1st year QBs to post similar records (see Manning, Peyton). Also, let's not forget who his leading rusher was. That leaves this year.

While watching the first MNF game of this season with Sleazer, it came up during the telecast that Jamarcus was having a problem with the playbook. Namely, he could only memorize the routes on one side of the field. Now, I haven't heard this since, but if this is in fact true, WHY THE HELL WAS HE ALLOWED TO START?  Hearing this, I decided to check out his Wonderlic score, given the shitstorm that occured when VY turned in a sterling 6. You would assume that Poopmarcus would be hovering around 3, but he miraculously scored a 24. Color me un-fucking-convinced.  I'm of the opinion that he memorized the answers. That said, he turned in a score one point higher than that of Jason Campbell and one lower than "Ben," so he's not exactly in the company of Mensa, but a respectable fake score nonetheless. Fun fact: The Leak Treat turned in an 8. Fitting.

In that same MNF game, I found myself surprisingly impressed by the Raiders. Except, of course, Jamarcus (and to be fair, Heyward-Bey), who threw 2 picks and had a 40% comp rate. So maybe Tom Cable was on to something. Actually, he wasn't and the Raiders suck, but the Raiders have managed to eke out a couple wins under the expert helmsmanship of Gradkowski.   Though since his initial benching, Jamarcus has come back to help out (and even win a game!), I'm pretty confident that we're nearing the end of the Russell experience. Somewhere Ryan Leaf is smiling (and not just because he's high as a motherfucker). The longer he plays, the more likely it is that Jamarcus steals his throne as biggest QB Bust ever. I leave you with his enduring legacy: Being so top-heavy that he can't stand up.