The Year of the Snake Cock

I love this time of the year, but I guess pretty much everyone does. I mean, who doesn't love constant reruns of "Love Actually," the old guy with the shovel in Home Alone, or the turd merger that was Home Alone 4? ( Ok, I just realized that everything I cited was a movie, as opposed to an interaction with actual human beings. Yeah I live my life vicariously through movie characters, yayyy!) At the same time, the holidays are much more to me. They're a time to plaintively reflect upon the year that was, and contemplate the year that will be. And really, who am I to pass up an opportunity to be emo?

But as much as I'd like to regale you guys with stories about the number of otphj's I got this year from randoms (read: 1/2), and the number of otphj's I got from my ex-girlfriend (read: 0), I feel like such entries would hinder fegonomics' chances of mainstream success. So let's talk sports for a second. 2008 was a great year on the field for the sports that mattered (football and basketball, and frisbee...kinda). 2008 gave us two of the greatest championship games and two of the biggest clutch plays of all time (the Final Four Championship with Mario "Superintendent" Chalmers' three ball to send the game to OT and Super Bowl XLII with David Tyree's miracle. Not to be confused with the Sean Eliott miracle. No, I'm not talking about playing with one kidney). I don't feel as comfortable writing about ultimate because my name ain't Match Diesel but I know that we did see the ascension of a people's champion on a magnitude unheard of since The Rock.

As good as things were on the field, things were going to hell off it. Pac-Man Jones got suspended for drunken escapades. Again. I guess the age old maxim holds true: A Pac-Man does what a Pac-Man do. But by far the biggest story was the Plaxico Flexico debacle. Probably the stupidest story of the past 4 or 5 years. It's tough to have perspective on it, given all the play it's been getting in the media, but one of the most talented players in the league put a hole through his body. Shit, think of if Derrick Rose did some Norman Bates shit and gored open his arm. Oh wait, that actually happened? While doing what? Cutting an apple? Shit mang, athletes do the darndest things.

Stephen A. Smith wrote a compelling piece about the plight of the black athlete following Burress' arrest. If by compelling I mean that I couldn't hear him berating me and saying "Slava Medvedenko" every other word. I could only imagine him berating me and saying "Slava Medvedenko" every other word.